Christian Counseling for Sexual Recovery

As a Christian you are deeply ashamed of your secret struggle with pornography.  You’ve prayed and tried to stop, but then you return to it feeling like a spiritual failure. Our Christian therapists can give you strategies for breaking free.  Watch this video The Dragon  to see how God reaches out to you in your struggle for freedom from pornography. Or read the short story Dragon Parable

Sexual Addiction
Out of control sexual behavior can become a sexual addiction. It might include compulsive masturbation to pornography, phone and online sex, workplace sexual misbehavior, strip clubs, sensual massage, prostitutes, chronic infidelity, anonymous sex, or S & M.  Our specialists  are Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) with extensive  training by Dr. Patrick Carnes. We can guide you into a path of healing and restoration. Take this sex addiction screening questionnaire to see if you have a sexual addiction. We can help. First steps for men pursuing sexual integrity.

Love & Romance Addiction
It’s not about the sex. It’s about the emotional high from the initial attraction. A love addict struggles to remain in a stable relationship because they feel empty without the rush of new romance. They may stay in chaotic relationships because of the romantic intensity of breaking up and making up. In the loneliness between relationships they feel desperate to find the excitement of falling in love again.  It is a painful and unhappy cycle. Our therapists can help you learn to value who you are and find true intimacy.  If this seems to describe you, take this inventory to find out more.

Betrayed Spouses
You’ve discovered your partner’s secret sexual indiscretions.  Maybe it is downloaded pornography, phone sexting  or evidence of an affair.  You’re devastated and reeling with hurt, anger and confusion. Who is this person you thought you knew? What should you do from here? You need an expert counselor to guide you through this painful crisis. Read more about healing from betrayal.  Read about help for hurting partners.

Couples and Pornography
The spouse of a pornography user senses their partner withdrawing emotionally and sexually even in a loving marriage.  The spouse may feel somehow at fault for their partner’s pornography use, but this is simply not true. Pornography users often find they can no longer be aroused by their spouse. This has nothing to do with the spouse’s attractiveness.  It is about the neurobiological effect of pornography so that sexual excitement with a real partner is compromised.   With therapy we’ve seen couples recover from the emotional wounds and sexual devastation of pornography. God created sex to be a beautiful expression of love in marriage, not a dark obsession. Your marriage can be restored.

Couples and Sexual Addiction Treatment   
This is a difficult journey, but if the couple wants to reconcile, healing is possible and we witness it regularly. We custom design a treatment plan blending individual and couple sessions to promote individual healing and nurturing connection for the couple. The addict must be willing to work on underlying issues and the roots of the addiction as well as practical steps for sexual sobriety. Similarly, the spouse will need individual help to recover from the emotional trauma experienced with the addict. In marital sessions the addict will come to gain empathy and understand the spouses pain. Total honesty replaces secrecy. Both the addict and the spouse will be supported through this painful but necessary process. The couple experiences new levels of communication and a deeper, authentic relationship.

Couples Recovering from Infidelity
How did someone else come between you? When the wronged spouse is blamed that is a wound as painful as the affair. We’ll help the unfaithful partner understand their poor choices and learn how to create healthy boundaries to protect the marriage in the future. For the wronged spouse, coming to a place of forgiveness has many steps including the sincere regret of the unfaithful partner.  The Biblical model of forgiveness is a profound process within the soul, not a  command to be obeyed for a quick fix. The unfaithful partner needs to forgive themself also rather than carry self hate.  Over the course of therapy the couple learns to deeply nurture one another and rebuild trust.  Our goal is to walk with you until your marriage  emerges better than before.

Sexual Addiction Professional Group Therapy
Group therapy for sexual addiction is a powerful part of the healing experience. Our Christian Men’s Groups are facilitated by specialized clinicians utilizing internationally recognized, research-based curriculum to provide healing from the impact of destructive sexual behavior. We have midday or evening groups for men in all three offices. RCA counseling also has therapy Groups for Wives  of men struggling with sexual integrity.

Christian Support Groups for Sexual Addiction Recovery
There are dozens of peer led Christian support groups available in churches throughout San Diego County. These groups are for men pursuing sexual integrity, spouses of sex addicts and women pursuing sexual integrity.  Go to for Christian support group information.  The RCA Counseling team regularly provides training events for these courageous group leaders who weekly volunteer their time and wisdom to help others. For secular 12-Step support groups contact Sexaholics Anonymous or Sex Addicts Anonymous

Sexual Recovery Workshops –  See our upcoming events calendar or schedule a workshop at your church.

  • Fresh Beginning Workshop Information – For those pursuing sexual integrity and those who care about them. Four evenings with teaching and exercises about sexual addiction recovery for people at the beginning of the journey.
  • Better Than Before  — This 3 hour workshop is for couples no longer in the shock stage of initially discovering sexual indiscretions. This is for later in recovery  after disclosure and sobriety.  How do you renew your emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy as a couple in recovery? Understand the road map with brief teachings and guided couples interaction to move you forward in feeling safe and nurtured by each other.
  • Online Sexual Minefield Workshop Information – A workshop for parents. Discover how to help your kids make the right choices online.
  • Steps to Freedom – Training  for pastors and ministry leaders in practical biblical responses to those seeking help regarding sexual addiction and betrayal.

Expedition Sexual Addiction Intensives  
Expedition 3-day individualized intensives for men or women and Expedition 2-week intensive program for men are designed to jumpstart recovery in sexual addiction.  The goal is to get you solidly on the path of recovery by creating opportunities for large gains in a short period of time. Expedition also offers weekend intensives for partners to start their healing.  This includes couple’s sessions to help guide the couple during this difficult time.  Expedition.

Good Marriage with Sexual Difficulties
You don’t have any of the problems discussed above. Your marriage is good and you love each other but the sexual part of your relationship is disappointing for both of you. Some problems could be no desire for intimacy, painful intercourse, pre-mature ejaculation, flashbacks from past sexual abuse, no orgasms or impotence. We can sensitively help you overcome the difficulties and enjoy physical intimacy again.  As a couple you can decide if you would be more comfortable with a female or male therapist.

Please return to our Home Page for information on:
Individual counseling for depression, anxiety, anger, trauma,grief and other issues
Pre-marital counseling, Marriage therapy, Counseling for children & difficult teens
Counseling for Pastors & Missionaries
Upcoming Events and helpful resources