Your sexual behavior is causing shame and pain in your life. It could be pornography, an affair, or other compulsive sexual behaviors. Hebrews 12:2 calls us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the course marked out for us.” The call here is to run the course, live the life, find the true fulfillment, lean into the destiny that is yours. We are hindered in this endeavor by many things. Unhealthy sexuality, though, has a unique power to captivate the human soul and numb us into a life of mediocrity.
God created sex to be a beautiful expression of love between a husband and wife. But unhealthy sexuality robs us of deep intimacy in relationship and pushes us into feelings of emptiness and despair. We desperately pursue the next orgasm as if that’s the only thing that matters. Healthy sexuality is so much more satisfying than that.
If you desire to experience your sexuality in a new, healthy way, you must be willing to start a new journey. This new start includes:
Believing it’s Possible
You have to believe the destination is real. If you are hopeless about ever getting there, you must enlist a trusted guide (the right minister, sponsor, or therapist) who has taken others where you want to go. The Journey to Freedom is sometimes slow but if you are sure you’re headed in the right direction, and are resolute, you will make it.
An East African proverb states, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” This is a journey you cannot succeed in alone. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Specialized therapy groups at RCA Counseling are an ideal way to maximize the opportunity for success. We offer flexible rates for those who cannot afford the standard fees. See the books and resources below also.
Counting the Cost
Hardships, setbacks, and failings are part of the journey. When traveling through treacherous territory one must be ready for suffering and difficulties. Another African proverb says, “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” God uses the journey itself and the relationships that are built along the way to form deep character, enabling us to live life very differently. Jesus went through his suffering and death to empower us on our journey of new life. What are you waiting for? Let’s get started.
Pure Desire by Ted Roberts For Christian men struggling with sexual unhealthiness. www.puredesire.org
The Porn Trap by Wendy and Larry Maltz Research on how porn damages relationships.
Secular book with excellent last half for couples recovery.
Not “Just Friends” by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. Rebuilding trust and recovering your sanity after infidelity.
Secular book with real guidance for healing. Doesn’t just describe the problem. www.shirleyglass.com
No Stones by Marnie Ferree. www.ivpress.com Christian book for women sex addicts.
Parables For Personal Growth by Melinda Reinicke Healing through parables and reflective explorations. Available from www.RCAcounseling.com Watch the Dragon Parable www.youtube.com/watch?v=6haX7K55TKo
Spouses of Sex Addicts: Hope for the Journey by Richard Blankenship
Very practical Christian book for wives. A betrayed husband’s story is also included.
www.yourbrainonporn.com Secular site for men on the damage & recovery from porn
www.xxxchurch.org The best Christian site on sexual integrity help for the whole family
www.newlifepartners.org Christian site for spouses of sex addicts
Professional Counseling Individual, marital and group counseling. We have offices in Mission Valley, Carlsbad and Rancho Bernardo. www.RCAcounseling.com 619 298-8722 x101 Therapy groups for men struggling with pornography or sexual addiction. Therapy groups for their spouses. Workshops for couples. Sexual addiction intensives.
Christian Church-based Support Groups – For Christian men pursuing sexual integrity, spouses of sex addicts, and women pursuing sexual integrity. http://www.unleashedsandiego.com/Christian%20Support%20Groups.pdf 619 298-8722×140
Sexaholics Anonymous – www.sa.org Sex Addicts Anonymous — www.sexaa.org